This is a problem not talked about often but like bedwetting is much more common than you think – particularly when it comes to boys! The difficulty with achieving bowel mastery is that many toddlers often feel possessive of their stools, and as unbelievable as this may sound, are reluctant to give them up! As hard as this may sound sometimes it helps just to leave things for a while as trying to train a child that is unwilling or unable only makes the whole process more stressful and ultimately less successful. If children feel too pressured to train they may withhold stools, which can lead to chronic constipation. Ideally boys should learn to urinate sitting down first as they may not want to sit to have a bowel movement – if your husband feels comfortable it is good to let your son watch him using the toilet in different ways. After a couple of weeks you can start again by encourage him to sit on the toilet or potty at times when he typically has a bowel motion, offering him a reward when he is successful. Some children need additional incentives beyond praise – sticker charts are good as they are a great visual reminder of their attainments. Watch for behavioural indicators such as grimaces or poses that indicate he is about to have a bowel movement – help him to identify these cues by pointing them out. Repetition and reinforcement are keys to success – keep reading books to him and talking about how we do our poos in the potty/toilet.

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