I have a 7 1/2 year old daughter who suffers really bad bed wetting every night. She was diagnosed with lower reflux but she was given the all clear at the age of 2, but I watch her when she is asleep, that is it she does not stir or wakes up and just goes we have tried rewards but she says she can't feel it.
This is fairly typical – the majority of children who wet the bed at night are unaware it is happening and will continue sleeping even when wet. One of the main reasons rewards do not work is that the actual bedwetting is not directly under her control. When using rewards it is important that you set realistic goals and keep things simple – given your daughter wets every night you should not initially aim for dryness as she is most likely to fail and feel even worse about herself. Reward behaviours that she can directly control like going to the toilet before bedtime or drinking 6-8 glasses of water during the day. You could discuss with her what her initial goals may be and write these onto a chart. Given her age I would recommend that you speak with a GP about treatment options – while some children outgrow bedwetting on their own, others benefit from a little help along the way. Your doctor will want to runs some tests first just to make sure she doesn’t have any underlying physical cause to her bedwetting.