I have a special needs child (she's never been officially diagnosed, but we've spoken to several health professionals who have given us their opinions) who is 5 years old, but who functions at around a 3 year old level.
She will go to the toilet during the day, but holds her poos in until she goes to sleep at night. We have tried everything we and anyone else has suggested to us, but she refuses to do poos on the toilet, instead insisting she wants to have her nappy changed.
The problem is, she will poo as soon as she goes to sleep. I've tried changing her as soon as she has finished, but after that she will stay awake for hours afterward, no matter what, which isn't an acceptable situation since I have a houseful of people who are trying to sleep and don't need her waking them up.
But if she has the poos left in her nappy all night, they can sometimes leak.
Would DryNites be able to hold the poo all night? Or would they most likely leak?
I'd love some advice, I'm getting desperate.
I completely understand your frustration with this very challenging situation. While DryNites could certainly hold faeces overnight, this is not ideal as she is likely to develop related skin irritations from having the faeces next to her skin for extended periods. In order to manage the situation more effectively we really need to try and identify why she refuses to poo in the toilet. Children with special needs often take longer to attain bowel control, with many parents sighting toileting issues as one of the biggest challenges. Some children withhold stools due to a fear of the toilet while others experience difficulties with poo as a result of constipation. Children who have suffered from constipation in the past and have experienced significant pain when passing a stool, may develop a fear of pooing and therefore are only able to do so when they are relaxed or asleep. If this is a contributing factor medical treatment may be required in order to get her back on track. Sometimes withholding stools can be a matter of control – when this is the case behavioural training methods are typically most successful. These include reward systems – however I take it from your question that you have already explored this approach. When toileting turns into a power struggle it is often helpful to step back from the situation for a few weeks. Successful toilet training can only take place with the voluntary co-operation of your daughter. As you know all too well, battling with a strong-willed child inevitably leads to certain failure and lots of frustration. If you do think this is behavioural and are able to rule-out constipation a final option is to ask to be referred to either a pediatrician or clinical child psychologist who specializes in treating childhood incontinence.
Regards,
Dr Cathrine
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