Boys 8-15 years

Dr. Cathrine answers some of your questions.

At what age should my sons stop wetting the bed? I have three boys ages 10, 12, and 16. Is it normal for the 16 year old to still wet the bed and what can i do about it?

While it is true that the majority of children have achieved night time dryness by age 16, approximately 1-2% of individuals do continue to wet their bed well into adulthood. Given your eldest son’s age and the frequency of wetting it is unlikely he will be able to achieve night time dryness without treatment. If you have not done so already it is important that you make an appointment with your GP or get a referral to an Incontinence Advisor to discuss treatment options. It is not unusual for a number of children in the same family to experience bedwetting – especially if either parent wet the bed as a child. If both parents were bed wetters, 77% of their children will be, while 44% of children suffer from bedwetting if one parent was a bed wetter. I would also recommend making an appointment for your 10- and 12-year-old boys as you may be able to coordinate the treatment so it becomes like a team effort – with each family member supporting the other. In saying this, there are a number of treatments currently available with not all approaches suiting everyone. It is a good idea to have all three boys checked by your GP first to rule out any possible underlying medical conditions. Bedwetting during the teenage years can be a source of great embarrassment and if allowed to can significantly restrict their social life. An overwhelming fear of being discovered can make attending sleep-over or school camps seem impossible. You might like to try using DryNites on these occasions as they will allow your sons the freedom to attend these events without the worry, while helping them conceal their bedwetting from their friends.

My son is about to turn 8. Toilet training went well when he was 2-3 he even stopped wetting the bed. Later on, he can go for a couple of months without wetting and then wet the bed a couple of times a week. I’m wondering if it’s every time there is a change in his life or if it’s the weather. Not sure what to do.

How exasperating – just when you think you’ve got on top of the situation it rears its head again!! Your son must be feeling really frustrated and a little bewildered. Secondary enuresis, which refers to bedwetting that occurs after at least 6 months of dryness, is best treated by first identifying the underlying cause. Your instincts are spot on as many children do start to wet the bed again as a result of increased stress or significant change – common factors causing stress among young children include school pressure and related anxiety, bullying, or family disharmony. It may be a physical condition such as an infection or severe constipation so it is important to rule out this possibility first. Sometimes it is useful to keep a diary so that you can think about what is happening in his life when there is an increase in bedwetting. Is it at times of high activity? If so, it may be that he needs to try going to bed a little earlier – sometimes an extra 30 minutes can make all the difference. If the bedwetting continues it is important to speak with your GP as some children need a little extra help in achieving long-term dryness.

Is it possible for an event at school to trigger bedwetting and anxiety in my son? He was recently caught up in some hi-jinks with some other boys and got into some BIG trouble with the principal. Shortly afterwards he started to wet the bed; nearly every night. I can’t think of any other reason why this would have started.

Secondary enuresis refers to night time wetting that begins after at least 6 months of dryness. By age 10, about 8 children in 100 will relapse into bedwetting after being dry for a period of time. A return to bedwetting may result from increased anxiety due to a change in the home situation (such as the birth of a sibling, parental divorce) or an emotional trauma (like being bullied at school or the death of a close friend). It is not unusual for a child who has experienced some difficulty achieving night time control to revert to wetting when under stress. If your son is particularly concerned with the situation at school you may find that it is affecting his sleep patterns – changing sleep patterns are a common cause of secondary enuresis. It is also a good idea to discuss the situation with your GP as sometimes secondary enuresis is caused by medical factors such as a urine infection (this tends to be more typical in girls) or juvenile diabetes.

My teenage son is still wetting the bed every so often. It’s really hard to plan for because it happens very infrequently. It seems to mostly occur after he’s exhausted himself at football or rock climbing or some other crazy sporting day out but not always. Do you have any advice on the best way to manage this?

It is not unusual for parents to report increased bedwetting when children engage in increased activity throughout the day. Many parents comment that these children also seem much more difficult to wake-up compared to their siblings who are dry at night. Research suggests that some children will stop wetting the bed with as little as 30 extra minutes of sleep per night. The fact that your son is only wetting the bed when he has had a very active day may suggest that his bedwetting is precipitated by overtiredness or exhaustion. On these days you could suggest to your son that he goes to bed earlier than usual so that he isn’t so worn-out and finds it easier to wake during the night. You may also want to check that he isn’t consuming more fizzy drinks than usual on these occasions as these have a diuretic effect and can stimulate the kidneys to produce more than average amounts of urine.